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danielleandariel.com The Double Life of Ariel Crawford Selling Out |
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Ariel Summary Download Selling Out Misc. |
The audition results were to be posted
outside the chorus room Tuesday afternoon, and it seemed like my last
class would never end. I squirmed in my seat while Ms. Erwin dragged on
and on about tangents and cosines. Finally the numbers on the clock
flipped to 2:00, and I was out the door before the bell had finished
ringing. Vince was already there, and I thought by the look on his face that we hadn’t done well. “How was your day…Satine,” he asked. (Satine is the name of the leading female character in Moulin Rouge). I screamed. “Omigod! I got it? I got the solo?” Vince nodded and smiled. “Congratulations,” he said quietly. I stopped jumping up and down. “Oh…honey. I’m sorry. Who got it instead?” I moved past him to look at the list. “Andrew Leuzzi,” I read. “Don’t know him.” “Me neither. He must go to Kellam.” “They always take all our parts!” I said, frustrated. “I think Mr. Matthews has something going on with the chorus teacher over there.” “Well, I’m not upset I didn’t get it. I didn’t have time, anyway.” Vince gave me a half-hearted smile. “I guess I’ll see you later. I have a student council meeting.” “Okay. Bye.” I took one more look at my name on the sheet of paper and walked off to the locker I shared with Sarah. She was already there, struggling to get it open. “Let me try,” I said. I re-dialed the combination, pulled up, and yanked as hard as I could. The door flew open with enough force to send me stumbling backwards. We laughed. “Maybe we ought to clean it out,” Sarah said, looking at the thick pile of papers that had gotten stuck in the lock. She picked one up. “Do you want your French test from November?” I glanced at it. “Not with that grade. Oh, I remember why I saved it. I was going to try to get my teacher to give me a few more points and then I couldn’t find it. I guess she’s probably not still open to those points.” “Probably not. Oh, weren’t you supposed to find out how your audition went today?” I nodded modestly. “Yeah. I did okay.” “Okay?” “Well, I got the lead female solo,” I said, smiling a little. “Oh my god! That’s so cool. Congratulations!” she said, giving me a hug. “I’d take you out to celebrate, but I have to go to work. But tomorrow at lunch, I’ll buy you ice cream. I promise. So did Vince get the part he wanted too?” “Well, no. Some guy from Kellam got it.” “Oh, that sucks. Is he jealous?” “Oh, I don’t think so. I mean, Vince gets a lot of parts. I’m sure he’ll get a solo for districts or something.” “Yeah, but this time he could’ve been singing with you.” I shrugged. “It’s just a solo. It doesn’t mean anything. He didn’t really want it anyway.” “Well, I better get to work.” “Yeah, I better get home. See you tomorrow. Don’t forget about my ice cream.” “What ice cream?” Sarah joked. “Don’t give me that look! I won’t forget. Bye.” I considered calling Jenny for a ride but decided just to walk home. It was a nice day and the heat felt therapeutic after all the snow we’d had that winter. I practiced the songs from Moulin Rouge in my head as I walked home. I was surprised I’d gotten the part. I hadn’t even thought my audition had gone very well. I hoped this guy Andrew would be okay to practice with and not someone who would sigh impatiently every time we had to start over. The concert was only a couple of weeks away, and we had a lot of practicing to do. Practices started the day after tomorrow, and I had to do a couple of individual ones with Mr. Matthews, the orchestra teacher, and then there were a few scheduled with the entire orchestra. I could see why Vince said he wouldn’t have the time. As I turned onto my street, I heard a horrible scream, followed by sobs and more screaming. Joey was sitting on the sidewalk in front of his house, beating it with his fists, red-faced and howling. I rushed up and saw Jessica, calmly unloading groceries from her car. “Joey, what’s wrong?” I asked, rushing up to hug him. He turned away and continued screaming. “Oh, he’s had a bad day,” Jessica said. “I picked him up at preschool in the middle of his nap, and he couldn’t get back to sleep in the car. Then he wanted a Sponge Bob pop from the ice cream truck, but they were all out. I told him we could go inside and have some chocolate ice cream but,” she sighed, “you know how they are at that age.” “At that age? Caitlin threw a fit this morning because I was taking too long in the bathroom. She didn’t actually beat her fists or cry but she would’ve if I’d been in there one second longer.” “Yeah, come to think of it, Ariel still does things like that too. And I bet she’ll be even worse when she’s Caitlin’s age,” Jessica said. “I am not looking forward to her being a teenager. I wish I could either freeze her at the age she is now, or send her back in time. Anyway, do you want to come have some ice cream with us?” “Sure.” I grabbed a couple of grocery bags and followed her into the house. Joey was still out on the sidewalk screaming, but as soon as the screen door closed behind us, he ran up to the porch and stood there, crying hard. “Poor Joey,” I said, coming back out and picking him up. He stared at me with his bloodshot eyes open big and blue. “You’re going to have so many girls chasing after you one day, with that dark hair and those blue eyes, you know?” “Tell me about it,” Jessica said. “I think he was trying to pick up the cashier at the grocery store today. He looked at her all wide-eyed and gave her this big smile and she was just about to die, she thought he was so cute.” I laughed and put Joey down at the table. Jessica scooped some ice cream for all of us. “Did school go okay?” she asked. “Yeah, it was fine.” “Have you found out yet how you did on those auditions for the Moulin Rouge solos?” “Yeah. I got the parts I wanted, but Vince didn’t. He lost to some guy from Kellam.” “That sucks. Is he jealous?” “Why does everyone keep asking that? Of course he’s not jealous. He didn’t want it that much in the first place.” “Well yeah, but you got it, and he wanted to get to practice with you and now it’ll be some other guy up there singing those love songs with you instead.” “Yeah, but it’s only for chorus, and Vince lost, fair and square,” I said, shrugging. “He’s mature enough to accept that.” “He really likes you,” Jessica said, smiling. “How are Caitlin and her, uh, boyfriend doing?” “Well, last week she thought he was really cute, Friday night he was the hottest guy alive, over the weekend he became the hottest guy not just alive now, but to ever walk the earth, and now they’re madly in love. Or they were this morning. By now they could have broken up.” “That’s cute, though. I’m glad she met him. She needed something to get her away from that ‘I hate the world’ attitude she’s had going on for the past year.” “Yeah, we were getting pretty sick of it. I hope he lasts for awhile. It’s hard to find guys in middle school who aren’t three inches shorter than you.” “Joey, use your spoon,” Jessica sighed, wiping ice cream off his face and hands with a paper towel. He wrapped his chubby fist around his special spoon, which had trains and cars printed on the handle, lifted a big spoonful of ice cream towards his mouth, and managed to get most of it in there. “That’s my big boy! Good job!” Joey grinned and got another spoonful of ice cream. He held it out to me. “Aww, thank you, Joey,” I said, taking a bite. “You welcome,” he replied. The front door opened and Ariel came in, carrying her backpack. “Hi, honey,” Jessica said. “How was school?” “Fine,” Ariel replied, dumping her backpack and jacket down beside the door. Jessica stared at them but didn’t say a word. “Fine!” Ariel exclaimed. “Don’t give me that look. I’ll take them to my room. I come home after a hard day at school. I’ve been working hard and everyone’s just chilling and eating ice cream, and my mother doesn’t even care that I had to multiply three-digit numbers on my math test, she just wants my backpack…” her voice trailed off as she went up the stairs. Jessica sighed and got up to fix Ariel a bowl of ice cream. “Just think, she’s not even a teenager yet.” “What’s wrong with teenagers?” I asked, pretending to be offended. Ariel came back downstairs, still rambling on “…and I know Joey is your favorite child, and you don’t love me, but that’s okay, I’m going to run away and find someone who couldn’t have kids who will love me…” “That’s fine, honey.” “See, you don’t even care. I will run away. Just wait. Tomorrow I’ll be gone.” “Okay,” Jessica said, rolling her eyes. “Eat your ice cream before it melts.” Ariel grabbed her bowl and sat down at the table. “Oh, hi Danielle. I didn’t notice you were here.” “I didn’t expect you would. You were too busy complaining.” “It’s just I don’t see how I can be expected to do 213 times 547 without making a mistake somewhere,” Ariel complained, picking at her turquoise nail polish. “That’s too much math.” “I’m sure you did fine,” Jessica assured her. “Danielle got her ‘Moulin Rouge’ solo.” “Oh, that’s good. Did Vince get it too?” “No, some guy from Kellam got it instead it.” “Too bad. Is he jealous?” I buried my head in my hands in frustration. “No! Vince is very mature about these things! Why would he be jealous?” “Well, is the other guy cute?” Ariel asked patiently, like she was explaining something to a small child. “Who cares? Probably! They have lots of cute guys there! But Vince has never met him and even if he has, he says he can’t tell if a guy is cute or not.” “Oh, that’s so not true,” Jessica objected. “Can’t we tell if a woman is beautiful? Guys are just more homophobic.” “Well, it doesn’t matter. Vince shouldn’t be jealous. If he is, it’s his problem,” I said, a little annoyed. I glanced over at my youngest cousin. “Joey! Are you supposed to be eating with your hands?” Joey looked worried for a minute, then said “yes” and smiled. He had ice cream all around his mouth and all over his hands, almost up to his elbows. It was in his hair, too. “No, I don’t think so,” I said, taking his bowl away from him. “No more ice cream until Joey can eat like a big boy.” “Mommy!” Joey complained. “Danielle’s right,” Jessica said. “Big boys use their truck spoons.” Joey pinched up his face like he was about to cry but then changed his mind. “I use spoon,” he said, picking it up. “Good. Show me how,” I said, handing the ice cream bowl back to him, which was almost empty anyway. He scraped the rest out, but even with the spoon some still got on his hands and face. “Joey, let’s go clean you up and go potty,” Jessica suggested. Before he could protest, she lifted him from his chair and led him off. “How’s that going, anyway?” I asked Ariel. “The potty-training?” she asked. “It’s okay. Some days he uses the potty the whole day, but then the next day he doesn’t at all. He’s been cranky today so I bet he peed in his pull-up. Mom’s always worrying he’s too young, but everyone else says he’s ready.” “Well, he turned two like four months ago,” I said. “That’s not young. A lot of kids are potty-trained before they turn two.” “Yeah. All the kids in his class at preschool are wearing pull-ups. Some of them are completely trained already.” I knew why Jessica was worried about training Joey too soon. She thought one of the reasons Ariel had worn diapers when she got older was because she’d forced her to potty-train too young, even though Ariel was almost three. I thought her theory was stupid. Ariel wore diapers because they felt good and she liked being babied. She still liked being babied even now, only just not as strongly. Sometimes when I babysat I’d find her in Joey’s crib, drinking one of his sippy cups, and she’d always say she was “just playing.” What difference would a few more months in diapers have made to someone who, at ten, still liked to drink from a sippy cup? Speaking of diapers, I hadn’t worn one since Friday, so I was determined to wear one to sleep that night. The next morning, I woke up a few minutes earlier than usual needing to pee. I’d wet once before I’d gone to bed but changed so I wouldn’t be sleeping in a cold smelly diaper all night. I couldn’t pee while I was sleeping even if I had a diaper on. This was a little disappointing to me because I thought it’d be cool to wake up wet and know that I’d had completely no control while I was sleeping, but I was relieved, too. If I wet a diaper when I slept, what if some night my body forgot I wasn’t wearing one and I wet the bed? Since I had a few minutes, I lay there in the dry diaper. It felt warm and a little humid from sweat, but not like one day last summer when I’d woken up to find that the power was out so the air conditioning wasn’t working, and it was 90 degrees outside. That was one time when I couldn’t wait to get out of a diaper. Now the gauzy-cottony material brushed against my skin gently, which felt like heaven especially since the morning air coming in from the open window was a little chilly. I went ahead and peed and lay there for a few more minutes. I didn’t want to get up, put on underwear, and go to school. I wanted to lie here in a diaper, dry or wet, for forever. But my clock flipped to 6:00 and the alarm began beeping loudly. I sighed, got up, and turned it off. I sat on my bed for a minute, staring at nothing in a dazed, sleepy way, and finally got up and went to my closet. All my clothes were so same-old same-old. I wanted a completely new wardrobe. My eyes landed on an ankle-length, flowing skirt. Some relative had given it to me for Christmas. It fit, but it wasn’t really my style. A diaper would hide really well under that, I thought. Why did I just think that? I was starting to get a very crazy idea. |