“I’m not going back to that school.”  Caitlin sat at the kitchen table with her arms folded firmly across her chest.

Jenny sighed, frustrated.  “Will you please try to be reasonable?  You cannot drop out of school!”

“Maybe I could study on my own and if I could pass the eighth grade SOLs, they’d let me skip to ninth grade and at least everyone would be more mature.  Danielle, you took those tests.  Don’t you think I could pass them if I studied?  Maybe you could help me.”

“Don’t ask me.  You can take care of yourself.  You’re not four years old anymore.”

“I said I was sorry about all that,” Caitlin whined.

She had said she was sorry, which was a big step for her.  I’d never before heard any apology out of her mouth that wasn’t prompted by her mother.  I’d said I was sorry too, but the chill in the house was definitely not due to the December temperatures.

“Maybe you could pass them, but I don’t think they’d let you skip two and a half grades because you passed a few tests.”  I ate my last bite of roast beef and grabbed a couple of cookies, sprinkled with red and green sugar, from the platter in the middle of the table.

“What does SOL stand for, anyway?” Cody asked.

Caitlin smiled, proud to share probably about the only thing she’d learned in sixth grade with her brother.  “Standards of Learning tests,” Jenny said hastily.

“That’s not what everyone at my school calls them,” Caitlin said.

“Maybe you don’t need to go back there after all,” Jenny remarked

“See?  Mom, all I learn there is obscenities.” 

Jenny sighed again.  “Look.  I can’t home-school you.  I’m not certified and besides that, I have to work.  You may well get more of an education at home reading and watching the Discovery channel, but the state of Virginia says that you must attend some form of school.  We could try to switch you to another public school, or look into scholarships for a private school, but I think any school you go to is going to have its share of jerks.”

“It’s not fair,” Caitlin complained.  “Stupid Virginia.  Stupid school.  I already know how to read and write, and I know algebra so what else is there to learn?”

“You don’t know algebra,” I told her.

“I do too.  If 5x equals 25, then x is five.  See?”

“Oh, that’s baby algebra.”

“Stop arguing,” Jenny pleaded.  “Caitlin, come January, you are going back to school.  Period.  Now let’s drop this and have a nice holiday.  Danielle’s mom will be here soon, and we don’t want her to think all we do around here is fight.”

“Oh, believe me, she’s used to it,” I said.

“When will she be here?” Cody asked.

“Her flight gets in at eight-fifteen.”  Jenny checked her watch.  “Which means we’d better leave soon.  Girls, clear the table, and Cody, it’s your night to rinse the dishes off and put them in the dishwasher.”

“Are you excited to see your mom?” Caitlin asked me.

“I don’t know if that’s the word I’d use.  I feel like I swallowed a bullet.”  We cleaned up the kitchen quickly and left.  Vince’s house was the first stop.  I’d begged him to come along.

“I hope your mom likes me,” he said in the car.

“Oh, she’ll like you,” Jenny assured him.  “You want to go to college, and you don’t look like her ex-husband.  She’ll like you.”

As we got off the interstate near the airport, Jenny announced “Okay, kids, you know how Grandma and Aunt Stephanie are.  So this is what they need to believe.  We go to church every Sunday and every holiday, regardless of how long the service is supposed to be or how tired we are.  Danielle, I have never bought you a ticket to an R-rated movie.  Caitlin, I’ve never taken you to see a PG-13 movie, and we only rent G and PG movies.  Cody, you go to bed at eight-thirty every night, and you’re not allowed to have soda or candy.  Vince, you don’t come over on school nights.  Got it?”

“Got it,” we replied skeptically.

“Oh my god!” Jenny cried.

“What?  Mom, will you please relax?” Caitlin asked.

“I forgot to tell you guys to clean your rooms.”

“I cleaned mine,” I volunteered.

“I cleaned mine too,” Cody said proudly.  We looked at Caitlin.

“If I cleaned my room, they’d know we were faking all this stuff for them,” she pointed out.

When we finally got to the airport, it took forever to find their gate and Jenny was shoving us along and ranting nervously about what her mother would think if we were late.  As it turned out, we got there just as everyone was walking out into the waiting room.  We looked around for them, and heard a familiar voice coming from the terminal.

“I can carry my own bag, thank you!  I might be an old woman but I’m not a cripple!”

“Grandma!” Cody exclaimed, and ran up to give her a hug.  Never much of an affectionate person, she tentatively put her arm around him.

“My goodness, you’ve gotten big!  And who’s that young lady with your mother?”  Caitlin blushed and smiled politely.

“Danielle!”  There was my mother.  I had time to notice she’d grown her hair longer and how expensive her fur coat looked before she gave me a hug and all I could notice was how strong her perfume was. 

“Mom, you look nice!  Where’d you get that coat?”    

“Oh, that was a Christmas present from John.”

“John?  What happened to Harold?”

“He’s history.  I think he was gay.  I met John through work.  He’s the executive vice-president of the corporation,” she bragged, I guess expecting me to be impressed.  Leave it to my mom to make sure her boyfriend could keep her clothed in dead animals.

“Well, I guess as long as he’s got money, that’s all that’s important.”  Before she could reprimand me for being smart, I grabbed Vince’s arm and dragged him beside me.  “Mom, I’d like you to meet my boyfriend, Vincent Rogers.  Vince, this is my mother.”

“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Harding,” he said.  I cringed inwardly.  How could I have forgotten to fill him in on this important detail?

“Ms. Miller, actually,” she told him.  “I switched back to my maiden name after my husband and I divorced.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”  When my mother turned away to greet Jenny, Vince glared at me.

“She hates me already.”

“Sorry I forgot to tell you about that.  She doesn’t hate you.  She’ll forget about it soon.”

We went to go get their stuff.  I thought maybe Jenny had better check with them to make sure they had gotten round trip tickets, because from all the suitcases it looked like they might be staying years.  Neither of them seemed to notice that Vince lugged two of those suitcases out to the car.

“So where’s everyone else?  I was expecting the whole family,” Grandma complained.

“Ariel and Joey are both recovering from strep throat, and Jessica didn’t want them out in the cold,” Jenny explained.  “But you’ll get to see them tomorrow.”

“Seems like Jessica could’ve left them with her husband and came with you all.  They’re still married, aren’t they?”

Jenny sighed.  “Yes, Mom.  You’ll see them all tomorrow.”

“How do you like school, Vince?” Mom asked.  “Are you in Danielle’s grade?”

“Yes ma’am, but we don’t have any classes together except chorus.  School’s fine.  My favorite subject is history.”

“That’s nice.  Where do you want to go to college?”

“Well, I was thinking about the University of Virginia, or William and Mary.”

Uh-oh, he’d said the wrong thing. 

“William and Mary?” Grandma asked.  “My younger sister went to William and Mary.”

“What did she major in?”

“Political science or some nonsense like that.  But she never graduated.  After our daddy spent his savings to put her through the first three years, she dropped out, moved in with a man and had a child a couple of months later, and then finally got around to getting married.  They both died in a car accident two years after that.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“This is what happens when you have a child out of wedlock.  You understand?”

“Oh – yes ma’am.”  Vince glanced at me nervously. 

“Vince is a very good student,” Jenny put in hastily.  “He’s on Student Council, and he had a solo at their Christmas concert for chorus.  He gets straight A’s, don’t you, Vince?”

“Well, I think I might have a B in chemistry for the semester,” he admitted.  “But usually.”

“Caitlin, how are you doing in school?” Grandma asked.  “You started middle school this year, didn’t you?”

“Yeah.  School’s okay.”

“Danielle, Caitlin, Cody and Ariel all made honor roll on their report cards last month,” Jenny said, still looking to impress.

“I worry about them going to those schools in that big city,” Grandma replied.  “It seems like every time I turn on the news I hear about how bad public schools are.  Kids bringing drugs and guns and who knows what else there.  I can’t imagine anyone actually learns anything anymore.”

“Well, as much homework as they get, they’d better be learning something,” Jenny replied, a little irritated.  “Virginia Beach’s schools are really very good, especially in our district.  Danielle’s school had the highest scores out of all the high schools in the city on the state standardized learning tests.”

“That doesn’t mean they’re safe,” Grandma replied.  “All these northern kids are into drugs and violence and that awful rap music.  The kids in Pineview aren’t like that.”

I rolled my eyes.  Grandma obviously hadn’t been to my old school in a long time.  You could get lung cancer just walking into a bathroom on the first floor there, and high walking into a bathroom on the second.  Most of the kids at my school now at least waited until school was over to pull out the pot.

“Oh Mom, kids are the same everywhere,” Jenny insisted.  “They go to good schools.  Maybe they’re a bit bigger than the school in Pineview, but it’s good for them.”

Jenny might as well just talk to the wall, for all Grandma was listening.  What it really boiled down to was that the “northern” schools didn’t have all the white, Catholic kids whose grandparents Grandma had gone to school with.  The same white, Catholic kids who hung out after school cursing their teachers and drinking the beer they’d stolen from their daddies.

Vince looked uncomfortable.  I was starting to wish I hadn’t brought him.  I’m sure he did too.

“Why don’t we stop by Jessica’s on the way back?” Mom suggested.  “We haven’t seen her in so long.  She never writes us.”

“She might write you more if you two got online,” Jenny replied.  Grandma didn’t even have a computer, and Mom had one with no internet access.  She said it was a waste of money since she could use the internet at work, and that even if she sent me e-mails I would never reply, since I never replied to her letters.  Grandma maintained that at the age of 63, she was too old to worry about a computer, like a computer was some kind of child she’d have to look after. 

Jenny called Jessica to say we’d be coming by.  I don’t know what Jess said to that, but since she didn’t shriek in horror and slam down the phone, Jenny figured this was good enough to try to convince Grandma that the whole family just couldn’t wait to see her. 

“Vince, would you like me to drop you off at home?” Jenny offered.  “I know your mom likes you to be in by ten.”  That was possibly the nicest thing she’d ever done for Vince, because his mom could care less when he got home.  But she knew he’d had enough of my family for one night.

“Oh, yes ma’am, please.  I forgot how late it was getting.  You won’t be mad at me, will you?” he whispered to me.

“No, I just wish you could take me with you.  Don’t worry, they’re just picking on you because you’re new.”  I was a little surprised he was bailing out so soon, though.  They hadn’t even been that bad tonight.

When we pulled up to Jessica’s, the first thing we heard was loud crying coming from the living room.  Ryan answered the door.  He looked weary, but gave Grandma and Mom a hug and told them how good it was to see them again.  Jessica joined us in the living room carrying a screaming, sobbing Joey.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized.  “He’s not feeling well at all.  He has a fever and…”

“And he just threw up all over the couch!” Ariel interjected.  Nobody had sat down yet but we all edged away from the couch.  Mom and Grandma took the chairs, and Jessica covered the piano bench with a towel and sat down on it with Joey.  The rest of us stood around awkwardly.

“I thought he had strep throat?” Mom asked.  “Didn’t you take him to the doctor?”

“Of course!  They’re both on antibiotics, and Ariel’s feeling better.  But Joey’s stomach is really sensitive.  He has a hard time keeping food down anyway, and when he’s sick it gets worse.  We’re hoping he’ll outgrow it.”

“Last year he got pneumonia and lost two pounds, so they put him in the hospital and fed him through a tube,” Ryan said.  “But he’s not nearly as sick now as he was then.”

“Oh, I hope not,” said my mother, who I imagined expected Joey to break out into leprosy or scarlet fever next.  “Maybe you should take him to see Danielle’s old pediatrician in Georgia.  He was forty-five minutes from our house, but he was worth it.  Danielle hardly ever got sick, but of course that might’ve had something to do with the fresh air in the country.”

“Auntie Lizzie,” Caitlin began.  My mom hated being called that, but Caitlin never seemed to remember.  “Joey’d be dead by the time they got all the way down to Georgia.”

“Is he that sickly?” Grandma asked.

“No,” Jessica said, sighing.  “Caitlin just likes to exaggerate.  I’m sure you remember.”

“So how are you, young lady?” Grandma asked Ariel.  “Last time I saw you, you were about six inches shorter and wearing a…”

“I’m fine,” Ariel said quickly.  “And I don’t wear those anymore.  I was only eight then.  I’m ten now.”

“I know.  We mean to get up here more often, but there just doesn’t seem to be the time.”  Time?  Mom had two vacation weeks every year, and Grandma didn’t work.   “Of course, you could come see us.”

“I know,” Jessica said apologetically.  “We keep meaning to, but Ariel has school, and then during the summer Ryan gets even busier with work.”  I knew that wasn’t the real reason.  Ryan had once said that if they were going to fork over the money for four plane tickets, they’d go someplace where they’d actually have fun.

“How’s your job going, Ryan?  Do you still work at that concert place?”

“The Amphitheater?  Yep, it’s going well.  Sometimes I feel a little burned out, but it pays pretty well so right now I think I’m going to stick with it.”

“Ryan’s teaching me how to play guitar, Mom,” I volunteered, even though I knew my mom didn’t think much of the guitar as an instrument.  She’d taught me how to play piano when I was four, but I never practiced anymore. 

“Danielle’s doing really well,” Ryan said, smiling.  That was a lie but it was nice of him to say so.  “We started about a year ago and just do lessons whenever we have the time.”

“A year?  How come you didn’t tell me before now?” Mom complained.  I shrugged.  Probably because whenever we talked on the phone, she went on and on about her life and never listened to what I was saying. 

Joey had fallen asleep in Jessica’s arms, and she stood up carefully.  “I think I’m going to go get him ready for bed.  I’ll be back down in a few minutes.”

Grandma smiled at him as they left.  “He’s so cute.  He’s what, two, now?”

“Two on Christmas Day,” Ryan said proudly.

We left pretty soon after.  For once we’d been able to have a night of polite forced conversation like my friends’ families and no yelling.  I tried to see what Mom and Grandma thought of Vince but they wouldn’t give me any specific opinions except “he seemed like a nice boy.” 

That was two days before Christmas.  By Christmas morning I was still waiting for the bomb to drop.  Holidays never seem to go smoothly in my family.  My dad always added too much rum to his egg nog.  One Thanksgiving Grandma and Mom got into a heated argument with Jessica.  Then another year Jessica went into labor on Christmas Eve. 

I did pretty well for gifts.  The best ones were a CD burner from Mom and a $50 Old Navy gift card from Jenny.  Jessica’s family came over for lunch, and we exchanged gifts with them.  Since Joey was the birthday boy, he got quite a few.

“Here, Joey, this is for you,” my mom said, handing him a large package. 

Joey gleefully grabbed for the ribbon but it was tied in a knot that held firmly.  Ryan had to take it off for him, and then Joey was free to tear the paper off in shreds and toss them up in the air, grinning broadly. 

It turned out to be one of those little potties that kids use when they’re being toilet trained.

“Joey, look, soon you’ll get to sit on the potty chair and be a big boy!  No more baby diapers!  Won’t that be fun!” Ariel said, a little sarcastically. 

“Well, I thought it would come in handy,” Mom said, looking a little insulted.  “He is two now, after all.  He’s ready to be trained.”

“I don’t know about that,” Ryan replied.

“It will come in handy,” Jessica said quickly.  “Thank you.  It’s cute.” 

“Take it out and let him sit on it,” Grandma said.  “The first step to training is letting them get comfortable with the potty.”

Jessica looked a little hesitant, but she didn’t want to start an argument so she unpacked it.  Joey stuck his hand down inside it, rolled it around some, and finally, with a lot of encouragement from Grandma and Mom, sat on it. 

“Great,” Caitlin said glumly.  “Soon I’ll be the only one in this family who wears diapers.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” I replied.  Joey had gotten up and started putting the alphabet blocks he’d gotten from Jenny in the potty.

“Clean up,” he announced.

“No, Joey, toys don’t go in there,” Mom told him, emptying the blocks out.  He frowned at her and immediately began throwing them back in.

“It’s really a useful gift.  Thank you,” Jessica said again.  “We’ll keep it in the bathroom and let him get used to it.”

After lunch I carried some of my gifts up to my room.  Mom followed me upstairs.  “Did you get everything you wanted?” she asked. 

“Pretty much.  Thanks again for the CD burner.  I really wasn’t expecting that.”

“You’re welcome.  Did you and Vince exchange gifts yet?”

“Yeah.  He went to Chesapeake today to see his grandparents, so we did it last night.”

“What’d he get you?”

I hadn’t been planning on telling her.  “A ring with my birthstone.”

“Your birthstone is a diamond!” she exclaimed.  “Let me see it.”

“It’s a small diamond, Mom.”  I gave her the box.  “Don’t get scared.  It’s not an engagement ring or anything.  And his mom works at a jewelry store so he got a discount.”

“I don’t care!  That’s not an appropriate gift for a 15-year-old girl to get from her boyfriend!”

“Well, we are really good friends.”

“Do you love him?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted.

“You are too young to be in this kind of relationship!  I wasn’t even allowed to date when I was your age!  The first ring I got was an engagement ring from your father.”

“Don’t worry, Mom.”  I tried to make light of the situation.  “The engagement ring I want is $20,000 at Tiffany’s.  It’ll be years before he can get me that.”

Mom frowned.  “I don’t like this.  Does he come over here when nobody’s home?”

“No,” I lied.

“I don’t want you over at his house or him over here unless there’s an adult home.  Is that clear?” 

“Yes ma’am.”

“Good.”  She hesitated.  “You’re not…having sex, are you?”

“Mom!”

“Well, it’s a reasonable question!  If the guy’s giving you diamonds, I’d say it’s a pretty serious relationship!”

“No, we’re not having sex.”

“I brought you up to believe that you should wait until marriage for sex.  But I guess that’s old-fashioned now.  You probably go to school with kids who are having sex.”  Probably?  Caitlin probably went to school with kids who had sex.  In high school, it was a given. 

“Yeah, I guess.”

“It’s not just that it’s immoral or that sex leads to babies.  You’re way too young for that kind of relationship.  Right now your focus needs to be school and friends.”

“I know.”

“Well, that’s what you tell me.  You tell me you know cigarettes are bad for you and the next thing I know you’re hiding out in the cornfield with a bunch of your friends smoking.”

“That was years ago, Mom.  I’ve grown up a lot since then.”

“How am I supposed to know you’ve grown up?  You never tell me anything.  I didn’t know you were in such a serious relationship.  I didn’t know you made honor roll in school this fall.  I didn’t even know you were learning to play guitar.”     

“I just forgot to tell you.  It’s hard to tell you every detail of my life in a phone call.  Besides, you hadn’t told me about breaking up with Harold or your new boyfriend.”

“It’s because you always seem to dislike the men I date.”

“You don’t seem to like Vince very much either.  Mom, it’s weird with you dating guys besides Dad.”

“Well, it’s weird with you dating at all.  I remember when you were Joey’s size.”

“And I remember when you were married.”

“Danielle, it’s just something you’re going to have to get used to.  I’m not even forty years old yet.  Do you expect me to just sit in my empty house and watch TV the rest of my life?  Maybe if you were still there, I wouldn’t have to go on dates.”

Here she went again, trying to make me feel guilty.  “Mom, you dated before I left.  So, are you having sex with this John guy?”

“Excuse me?  Young lady, that is none of your business, and that was totally uncalled for.”

“You asked me.  You just told me I should wait for marriage so I just wanted to see if you were following your own advice.  Besides, it is my business.  I don’t want a little brother or sister.”

“Danielle…”

“I mean, he’s buying you all that stuff, I figure he has to be getting something!”

There was a knock on the door.  “You guys want some hot chocolate?” Jenny called.

“We’d love some,” Mom replied, looking relieved.  She started for the door and turned around to face me again.  “Danielle, I love you.”

“I love you too, Mom,” I said awkwardly.  She looked like she wanted to say something more, but instead she smiled a little and we walked downstairs in silence.