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danielleandariel.com The Double Life of Ariel Crawford Selling Out |
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Ariel Summary Download Selling Out Misc. |
School ended a
few weeks after the concert and with nothing better to do besides lie
around all day watching TV, I got a job scanning groceries at Farm Fresh.
It wasn’t a bad job, and it felt good to earn some money. I was going to
get my driver’s license in a few months and hoped to eventually buy a car.
I also came to the frightening realization that college was only two years
away, and I had no idea how to pay for it. I knew I couldn’t count on much
help from my mother. So I tried to put most of my paychecks into my
savings account. The summer was shaping up to be pretty good. Some of my friends could drive already and when I wasn’t working, we often went to the movies or shopping or bowling, or sometimes just went to the strip. Maybe it was Andrew’s influence, but I was starting to see the benefits to living near the beach. I still didn’t want to have anything to do with the water, but there were quite a few buff, tan guys walking around with their shirts off. The stores down there also had much cheaper clothing than the mall. I also tried to devote quite a bit of time to my favorite hobby, but it wasn’t always easy. Caitlin seemed to want my company whenever I wasn’t out with my friends. A lot of times she didn’t even want to talk but would just bring a book in my room and read while I did whatever, or we’d sit in the living room watching TV together. I thought she’d be glad to have a break from school, but with nothing to do all day she seemed bored and restless. She didn’t get to see Nick as much as she would’ve liked, because his parents worked all day, and Jenny wouldn’t let her ride her bike over to his house. She said it was because he lived too far away, but Caitlin and I knew that wasn’t the real reason. I thought Jenny was being ridiculous. Caitlin and Nick never did more than hold hands and occasionally share a quick kiss, and I knew Caitlin had no plans to do anything more than that. Sometimes Caitlin’s friend Lindsay came over, and sometimes she and Ariel went to the pool together, but they didn’t seem to spend as much time together anymore. Often when Ariel came over, Caitlin was so moody that she didn’t stay very long. So Caitlin spent most of her days sprawled out in front of the T.V. Jenny offered to sign her up for summer softball or swimming lessons at the recreation center, where Cody was in day camp, but Caitlin didn’t seem interested in either, especially the swimming lessons. We also had a pool down the street, but she didn’t go a lot, and when she did she always wore board shorts in the water. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why. One Friday afternoon I invited Sarah over. She brought her Sex and the City DVDs and we spent a good portion of the afternoon refreshing our memory of Carrie and Aiden’s doomed relationship. They were breaking up at Charlotte’s wedding, and we were both in tears when the phone rang. “Danielle, it’s for you,” Jenny yelled. I wiped my eyes, blew my nose and picked up the phone. “Hello?” “Hey, Dani, it’s Andrew.” “Andrew!” He had called me a couple of times after the chorus concert, but I hadn’t heard from him since school ended. “Hey. How’s it going?” “Not bad. What’ve you been up to?” “Not much. I’ve been working at Farm Fresh.” “I know. I’ve seen you in there a couple of times, but you seemed busy so I didn’t say hi.” “You shop there? But I thought you lived way out in Pungo! There’s a Farm Fresh closer, you know. And Wal-Mart, and Food Lion.” “Thanks for the geography lesson. My mom says the one you work at has better produce. Plus, I enjoy the thrill of making a left turn across General Booth Boulevard during rush hour. And the cashiers are prettier.” I felt my face getting red. I didn’t know what to say. “Well…what have you been doing, besides grocery shopping?” “Just chilling, doing some surfing. The waves are pretty good this summer, but you wouldn’t know, would you?” I rolled my eyes. “No, and I never will.” “Oh, just you wait. Anyway, the reason why I called is that my parents are out of town, and so I was going to throw a little party tonight. Just a few people my brother and I know from school, nothing huge. I was wondering if you wanted to come. Bring some friends.” “Oh, well I’d like to, but I’ll have to see. My aunt kind of has this thing about parties where nobody’s parents are home, so I’ll have to come up with some excuse.” “Well, if you want, I could get a girl to call your aunt and say she’s my mom and that she’ll be home, and I could come pick you up.” I laughed. “Maybe, but I think I can figure something out. Thanks.” “Alright. I’m about to burn some CDs for tonight. Any song requests?” “Maybe ‘Shake Your Tailfeather’?” “Maybe try again,” Andrew said. I could almost see him rolling his eyes on the other end of the phone. “I do not play Nelly at my parties, thank you.” “Oh, well, excuse me. I don’t care what you put on your CDs. Surprise me.” “Oh, and one of our neighbors is about to go get the keg, and she’s making a trip to the ABC store before it closes. Any requests there?” “Excuse me?” “You want any specific kind of liquor? Don’t worry, I’ll keep the good stuff hidden in my room. I like tequila, personally. Everyone says it fucks you up, but you just have to take it kind of slow. Last party I had, we took the blender into my room and made margaritas.” “Uhhh…again, surprise me.” I heard him laughing. “Okay. Well, let me give you directions.” I scribbled down the directions and then hung up. I headed back into the living room. Caitlin had joined Sarah in front of the TV. “Hey, want to go to a party tonight?” I asked Sarah. “I do!” Caitlin said. “I didn’t ask you,” I said. “I wish I could. That sounds a lot more fun than going to visit my grandma for her birthday,” Sarah said, looking depressed. “We’re spending the weekend there. Actually, I should probably be getting home.” I walked her to the door and right after she left, the phone rang again. This time it was Vince. He wanted to know if I wanted to see a movie with him that night. “I can’t,” I said. “I...have plans.” “What’s going on?” he asked. I sighed, remembering the way he’d acted after the concert. “Andrew’s having a party at his house.” “Oh,” he said flatly. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. “Well, have fun. I guess I’ll see you later.” “Do you want to go?” I blurted out. I don’t know why I suggested that. I hadn’t had any intention of inviting him. Vince isn’t really a party person. “Sure!” he said, obviously faking enthusiasm. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.” “I wanted to spend time with you tonight. If you’re going to the party, I’ll go with you. It’s worth it.” I wondered if he wasn’t going just to make sure Andrew didn’t try anything. “That’s so sweet,” I said weakly. “Do you think your sister could drive us? You know how Jenny is about parties. I was just going to tell her we’re going to the movies or something.” “She probably would, as long as we give her gas money. I think she’s trying to make money by driving people around and charging them for gas to go the slightest distances. She got fired from Burger King, you know.” “Oh – that’s too bad.” We talked for a few more minutes and then I went up to my room to figure out what to wear. Caitlin stopped by. “So you’re going to a party tonight? With Vince?” “Yeah, at Andrew’s house.” Caitlin sighed loudly. “I guess I’ll just be left here tonight by my lonesome.” “I suppose you want me to invite you.” “Well, I wouldn’t be offended if you did.” “Hon, this is a high school party. You’re too young.” “I know what goes on in high school!” Caitlin said. “I’ve seen ‘American Pie’ and I read ‘Sweet Valley High.’” “Forget it.” “Is it a sex party? Is that why you don’t want me to come?” “If it was a sex party, do you think I would’ve invited Sarah? Besides, nobody I know actually has sex parties. High school isn’t like it is in movies, you know.” “Are people going to be smoking pot?” Caitlin asked, eyes lit up. “Is anyone going to be drinking?” I sighed. “They will! There’s gonna be booze there!” “Can you please go find something else to do?” “Dani’s gonna be drinking,” Caitlin chanted softly. “My cousin’s a wino. Dani’s a wino...” “This is not one of your more mature moments, you know. And you know what? If you even think about mentioning my name and any word that’s a synonym for alcohol, beer, booze, wine, liquor, whatever, in the same sentence to your mom or Cody, I will take that sheet of paper where you practiced signing your name with Nick’s last name, and I will mail it to him. Do you get my drift?” “You don’t know his address.” “No, but I know his last name, thanks to your little sheet of paper, his phone number is right by the phone, and we just got a new phone book, so I could find it.” “Okay, okay. You know I wouldn’t tell Mom, anyway. Just don’t do anything dumb, okay? Are you going with Vince?” “Yeah.” She snickered. “Well, I know you’ll be safe as long as you’re with him.” “What does that mean?” “Vince won’t even stay out past the citywide curfew. I know he’s not going to drink, and if he sees you having even a sip of anything, he’ll be giving you Alcoholics Anonymous brochures.” “True.” I opened up my closet. “So what do you think I should wear?” Jenny didn’t question me when I told her Vince and I were going to the movies, and we left around nine. I thought nine might be a little bit early, although I’d never been to a no-parents-and-drinking kind of party so I wasn’t exactly sure what time to get there. But Gina, Vince’s sister, was meeting her boyfriend somewhere after she dropped us off so she made us leave early. I was relieved to see Andrew’s house looking alive; loud music could be heard as soon as we turned down his block and there were lots of people standing around on the lawn holding cups. It was a good thing he lived out in the country or the cops would’ve been there within five minutes. “Thanks for driving us,” Vince said, handing Gina a five-dollar bill. “I’ll call you when we’re ready.” “Yep,” she said, stubbing out her cigarette on the dashboard of her Pinto and lighting another. “You’ll have to go out on his side, your door don’t open on the inside,” she told me. Vince was struggling to open his door and finally leaned on it, pushed with his shoulder and it fell open. He got out and I slid across the stained seat and crawled out, accidentally kicking a used condom that had been on the floor into the street. “Nice,” Vince muttered, kicking it into the gutter and slamming the car door. “At least we know she’s being safe,” I said. “Yeah, that’s kinda surprising,” he replied. “Hey, Dani!” Andrew exclaimed, emerging from the throngs. “Hey man,” he said to Vince, giving him a high-five. “Good to see you again.” “Hi,” Vince said awkwardly. “I was kind of worried we’d be too early.” I had to yell to be heard over the music. Andrew glanced around. “Yeah, there aren’t too many people here yet, but don’t worry. I’m sure a lot more will start showing up around ten.” “This isn’t a lot of people?” I asked, amazed. “Damn, it looks to me like half of your school is already here.” “I don’t know all them. My neighbor invited some of her friends who go to ODU and a lot of my friends brought their own friends from other schools. Anyway, you want something to drink? The kegs are in the backyard or I could take you up to my room.” “What?” Vince exclaimed. “The liquor’s in his room,” I explained. “You didn’t tell me people were going to be drinking here,” he said. “Oh honey, lighten up. It won’t kill you. You know, I’m told this is what the normal people at our school do on weekends.” “Vince!” A couple of guys who looked vaguely familiar came over. “Hey, what’s up? Haven’t seen you in forever!” “Hey!” Vince suddenly looked considerably happier. “Danielle, you remember Brad and Chris from Honor Society?” “Yeah, hey, how’s your summer going?” I asked. “Okay,” Brad said, before the three of them began talking about a bunch of Honor Society gossip that I couldn’t follow. “Oh lord,” I muttered to Andrew. “This is all I’m going to hear about all night.” “Well, come on,” he said. “I’ll introduce you to some of my friends.” “Vince?” I said tentatively. “I’m gonna go talk to some people. I’ll be back in a bit.” He merely nodded. “Want to come upstairs?” Andrew asked. “I’ll make you a drink.” “Good god,” I said once we were in his bedroom. There were at least twenty different bottles of liquor sitting around. “What’d you do, rob the store?” “Nah. Some of it I took from my parents’ liquor cabinet. I mean, a shot here, a shot there, they won’t know the difference. My neighbor bought the rest for me. I don’t get the expensive stuff and I’m lifeguarding this summer, making pretty good money, so it’s not that expensive. Besides, I only do parties like this once a year. So, what do you want to drink?” I shrugged. “Umm…to be honest, I’ve never drank much.” He smiled. “You mean you’ve never drank at all.” “That’s not true,” I said defensively. “I’ll have you know I drink wine every Sunday morning.” He laughed. “Wow, Danielle. One sip of watered-down wine in church every Sunday! You’re an alcoholic!” “Well, my dad used to make himself martinis every night when he got home from work and once I tried a sip. It tasted like Pine-Sol.” “Yeah, martinis are nasty.” He poured stuff from various bottles into a glass and held it out to me. “Here, try this.” I took a small sip. “Hey, this is good! What’s in it?” “Sprite, Midori melon and citrus vodka. But you need to be careful. It’s got more alcohol in it than it tastes like.” “So this is tequila,” I said, picking up a bottle. I took the cap off and sniffed. “It doesn’t smell that bad.” “It depends on what you drink it with,” Andrew said. “My theory about tequila is everyone tries it, says ‘oh this stuff is awesome!’ and drinks too much. Then they get sick and for the rest of their lives they tell everyone else to stay away from that tequila shit. You have to take it slow.” “Can I try it?” I asked curiously. “If you want…” he said doubtfully. “Here, pour some salt on your thumb.” “What?” “Here,” he said, taking my right hand. “See that skin between your index finger and your thumb? Lick that.” “Huh? Why?” “Cause we’re gonna pour some salt on it.” I was still confused but I wanted to look like I had some idea what I was doing, so I licked my hand and held it out to him. He sprinkled some salt onto it and cut me a lime wedge. “Okay. I’m gonna take this one with you. You’re going to lick the salt, take the shot, and then put the lime in your mouth, quickly. It won’t be so gross this way, and you won’t throw it back up.” “You’re making me really want this, you know?” “Well, you gotta learn sometime.” I took a deep breath, licked the salt off my thumb, threw the shot down my throat, and, coughing, stuck the lime between my teeth. “That wasn’t too bad,” I said, although my chest was burning. “Can I have another?” “Maybe that’s not such a good idea...” “Just one more.” I poured some more tequila in the shot glass and got my salt and lime ready. This time swallowing wasn’t quite as easy and my stomach churned. I took a big sip of the mixed drink Andrew had made me. “You okay?” he asked cautiously. “I’m great.” “You want me to make you some more of that?” he asked, gesturing at my almost-empty glass. “Sure.” After he’d made me some more we went downstairs. Vince was still in the same place I’d left him. I gave him a kiss, which he barely noticed, and went to go meet some of Andrew’s friends. “Danielle, this is my good friend Lisa.” You mean your fuck-buddy? I thought. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you.” Lisa was tall and skinny and had long red hair. She also had huge breasts that I had to notice because she was wearing a top that didn’t leave much to the imagination. “You too,” she said. “Andrew talks about you a lot.” “Really?” “You weren’t supposed to tell her that,” Andrew said. “Sorry, babe, I’m starting to feel it.” She put the arm that wasn’t holding her beer cup around him. “Where have you been? I’ve been here for like 45 minutes. You weren’t jerking off in the closet again, were you?” “Oh haha, you’re so funny,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Jerking off in the closet?” I asked. “That’s a story I’d like to hear.” “Yeah, she was just kidding,” Andrew said, turning red. “Where’s Justin?” Lisa shrugged. “We’re taking some time off.” “Oh,” Andrew said flatly. I couldn’t tell if he was happy about that or not. “Hey, I’m going to get some more beer,” she said. “You guys want any?” “Hell yeah,” I replied. Maybe that would settle my stomach some. I was pretty used to beer because my friends and I had drunk it when I was younger a few times. “You sure you don’t want to take it easy?” Andrew asked. “Oh, don’t baby the girl,” Lisa said. “I’ll be back.” She disappeared into the crowd. “Want to sit down?” Andrew said to me. We sat down on a couch. Actually, it felt more like I fell down. I was starting to feel a little dizzy. “You okay?” he asked, putting his hand on my arm. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.” He left his hand on my arm for a little bit. I took it off reluctantly. “Oh, no you don’t. You better not do that. My boyfriend will be mad.” “Hey.” He held his hands up defensively. “If you were my girlfriend I’d be mad too. But he’s got nothing to worry about. We’re just friends, right?” “Right.” Lisa brought us the beers and I took a long sip. “Now if I didn’t have a boyfriend I might want to make out with you. I mean, you’re cute and all. But I have Vince to think of.” “Did I miss something?” Lisa asked. “Danielle was just telling me she wants me in bed,” Andrew said, grinning. “I did not!” I replied, shoving him playfully. He pushed me back. “We’ll see what happens after you’ve had a little bit more to drink.” The three of us sat there talking for another half hour or so. Lisa kept refilling my beer, which I thought was really nice of her. After awhile I saw someone familiar out of the corner of my eye. “Hey Brad!” I yelled. “Brad! Hey!” “Oh, hi,” he said, wandering over. “Your boyfriend’s looking for you.” “Is he? I’d better go find him,” I told Andrew and Lisa. I stood up and nearly fell back down. “Whoa. Hey, this is cool!” “You okay?” Brad asked doubtfully. “Yeah. Where’s my boyfriend? Oh, there he is!” Vince was standing over in the next room talking to a few people I vaguely recognized from school. “Vince!” I yelled, waving at him. I ran up and hugged him. “I missed you!” I said, giving him a big kiss. “Uhh…” “Honey, Andrew made me the greatest drink. It had Sprite and I think two kinds of liquor and it was really really good. You have to try it. He introduced me to some of his friends and they’re really cool. I’m having the bestest time. That’s not a real word, is it?” He shook his head, looking stunned. I dissolved into giggles. “I mean, I’m having the greatest time,” I said, still laughing. “I don’t know why this is so funny. I’m glad your sister drove us. It was worth the five dollars. It wasn’t my money though so I guess it doesn’t matter.” I laughed harder, started to choke and cough a little, and took a sip of beer to soothe my throat. “Oh, this is awesome,” he said sarcastically. “I’m sorry,” I said, giving him a hug. “I guess maybe I drank a just a teeny little bit too much.” “Maybe a little,” he said, playing with my hair. “It’s cause you’re skinny.” “And I never drank much before,” I told him. “But that stuff was good!” “Yeah, why don’t you let me try a little of that?” he asked, reaching for my cup. He took a sip and set it down on the table behind him. “Oh, I see what you’re trying to do. You’re cutting me off. You don’t want me to have anymore.” “No, no, you can have some more later,” he said patiently. “I just think you need to take a little break right now.” “Look, I’m not drunk, okay?” I said as I tried to push past him to get the beer cup. “I’m maybe a just a little bit tipsy but I’m not drunk.” I grabbed the beer and he pulled it out of my hands. It splashed out of the cup onto my shirt. “Look what you did!” I exclaimed. “You got my shirt all wet.” “I’m sorry.” “You don’t want me to have any fun. You’re always trying to control what I do!” “Honey, let’s get in the bathroom line, okay?” he said, putting his arm around my waist and steering me towards the long line of people waiting for the bathroom. “See what I mean? What if I don’t want to go to the bathroom?” “Well, you’ve had a lot to drink and the line is kind of long, so by the time you get up to the front of it you’ll probably have to go. You always have to pee. You have a peanut-sized bladder, remember?” he said, smiling. “Oh, you think you know me so well,” I snapped. “You don’t even know why I have a peanut-sized bladder.” “Hon, you’re being kind of loud.” “If I were at home, I wouldn’t have to worry about standing in this long-ass bathroom line because I could just put on a diaper!” His mouth fell open. “You mean one of your cousin’s diapers.” “No, I mean the ones I have in my closet that I wear to bed and around my room for fun sometimes! Those diapers! Half the time when you call me at night and we’re talking, I’m wearing one! Sometimes I pee in it and you have no clue! See! You don’t know me at all!” He looked down at the ground, cleared his throat, and shifted his weight from one foot to another for a few seconds. Then he sighed. “No. I guess I don’t.” “Don’t what?” I asked. “Never mind. Exactly how much did you have to drink?” “Ummmm…” I couldn’t remember exactly. I wasn’t sure how many times I’d asked Lisa to get me more beer or if I’d had one or two tequila shots. “That really good stuff Andrew gave me, plus some tequila, and I think maybe three cups of beer?” “Oh, lord.” “I would’ve gotten to have more beer if you hadn’t taken mine away,” I said. “Where is it, anyway?” I picked up a cup on a nearby table. “No honey, that’s not yours,” Vince said, taking it out of my hand. “You don’t want to drink someone else’s spit.” I started laughing. “Eww!” I quickly tried to stop and pressed my legs together, since laughing made me have to pee worse. “How much longer do I have to wait? Now that I think about it, I really do need to pee.” “Only a few more minutes.” “Ooh, I don’t know if I can hold it that long.” Vince sighed. Just then I saw Lisa near the front of the line. “Hi, Lisa!” I yelled and then whispered loudly to Vince, “She’s Andrew’s fuck-buddy.” “Awesome,” he sighed. “This is all just awesome. I’m so glad you talked me into going.” “Are you being sarcastic?” I asked. “Hey,” Lisa called back. “Andrew and I have heard you talking ever since you left us.” “Oh, sorry,” I giggled. “I guess I was a little loud, huh?” “That’s cool,” she smiled. “Want to cut me in line? I can wait a little longer.” “Yeah, thanks!” I got in front of her and was soon in the bathroom. I yanked my underwear and pants down together, sat down heavily and started peeing. I felt like a water balloon someone had pricked a hole in and squeezed. After I finished I pulled my pants back up and looked in the mirror. My hair had come out of its clip and was frizzing everywhere. I laughed at myself and suddenly felt nauseated. Lisa started banging on the door. “Hello…did you fall in?” “Sorry.” I tried to turn the knob and realized I’d locked the door. Clumsily I unlocked it and stumbled out. She smiled at me and slipped in. “Feeling better?” Vince asked. “Actually, I kind of feel nauseated.” “Oh, shit,” he said. “Vince…” I said, and then I started heaving. I put my hands over my mouth. Vince grabbed my elbow and started pulling me through the crowd. Dizzily I saw people quickly moving out of the way. A few laughed. Andrew came running up. “You okay?” “Thanks for getting her drunk,” Vince snapped. “Leave her alone.” I took my hand away to tell Vince it wasn’t Andrew’s fault, but when I tried to talk I heaved instead, right as we were going out the back door. I leaned over into the grass and vomited up what felt like everything I’d ever eaten in my life. Vince held my hair back and rubbed my back, looking awkward. I finally finished, sat down in the dewy grass, which soaked my pants, and burst into tears from embarrassment and some vague sense that something was wrong. “Vince!” I sobbed, putting my head on his chest. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get drunk. I didn’t mean to tell you all that stuff. I didn’t mean…” I closed my eyes briefly and the ground started spinning, faster and faster, everything was spinning and spinning and I opened my eyes and nothing was still, like a merry-go-round out of control, and I felt sick again, closed my eyes, started throwing up, and passed out. |